Domestic violence is often thought of as a crime that only affects women, but it can happen to anyone, including men. According to data from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in seven men in the United States has been a victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
However, men are less likely to report their experiences of domestic violence compared to women. This can be due to several reasons, including:
Societal expectations
Men are often expected to be strong and in control, which can create a stigma around male victims of domestic violence. Men who experience abuse may worry about being seen as weak or less masculine if they come forward. They may also fear being judged or not believed by others, including law enforcement.
Shame and embarrassment
Male victims of domestic violence may feel ashamed or embarrassed about their experience, especially if they believe that they should have been able to defend themselves. They may also worry about how others will perceive them and fear being ostracized or ridiculed.
Fear of retaliation
Many male victims of domestic violence fear retaliation from their abusers if they report the abuse. This fear can be compounded if the abuser is a partner or spouse, as they may face threats such as losing custody of their children or being falsely accused of abuse themselves.
Lack of resources
There is a lack of resources specifically designed for male victims of domestic violence. Many shelters and support programs primarily serve female victims, which can make it difficult for men to find the help they need. This can leave male victims feeling isolated and unsupported, further reducing their willingness to report their abuse.
The consequences of male domestic violence can be severe and long-lasting. Victims may experience physical injuries, emotional trauma, and financial hardship. In some cases, the abuse can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or even death.
It is crucial to recognize and address the issue of male domestic violence. This requires creating safe spaces and resources for male victims to seek help without judgment or stigma. It also requires challenging societal norms around masculinity and gender roles, which can contribute to the shame and lack of support many male victims face.
In conclusion, it is essential to understand the reasons why men do not report domestic violence and address these issues to ensure that all victims, regardless of gender, receive the support and resources they need to heal and recover from abuse.
This definitely follows the DV that I experienced, except I was arrested. Later she wrote an email to the district attorney admitting that she lied, and when my attorney asked the charges be dropped, the DA cited something called "Battered Wife Syndrome" as justification for not dropping the charges.
It took 3 years, tens of thousands of dollars, & the night before arraignment the charges were dropped.
Thanks for sharing. I was arrested months later, when my ex lied in police report. DA dropped charges after 4 months. But I had your experience with DA's: they are clueless and don't do a good job of figuring out what reality is. They use cliches and pretend to be smart.
The second time my ex assaulted me in our home, I called the police on her. They came and spoke to me, then to her. Even though I was the one who called 911, cop said, "look, we only believe the woman. It doesn't matter what you say. We could have you arrested based on what she said, just on that alone. So we suggest you leave the home and go sleep somewhere else tonight. " And that is how our society handles DV: incompetently. This is one of the many things we need to change, together. Stay strong, my friends.
My ex owed me $65 for a medical bill before a hearing on some other issues. I later through subpoenas was able to prove that she went to her bank, withdrew that in pennies, nickels and a few dimes, went to her house and broke apart the coin rolls in front of the kids while telling them lies about me, loaded the ten plus pounds of coins into a sock, went to our kid’s baseball game, and as I walked past where she was sitting, jumped up and attacked me. The judge in family court later said it was acceptable for her to attack me because she was unhappy about going to court. Assault in front of the children (remember that is one of the all important child custody factors) is apparently ok as long as the one committing the crime is a mom... that is when the last tiny bit of doubt was removed from my heart that the family court is totally corrupt and biased.
This definitely follows the DV that I experienced, except I was arrested. Later she wrote an email to the district attorney admitting that she lied, and when my attorney asked the charges be dropped, the DA cited something called "Battered Wife Syndrome" as justification for not dropping the charges.
It took 3 years, tens of thousands of dollars, & the night before arraignment the charges were dropped.
Thanks for sharing. I was arrested months later, when my ex lied in police report. DA dropped charges after 4 months. But I had your experience with DA's: they are clueless and don't do a good job of figuring out what reality is. They use cliches and pretend to be smart.
The second time my ex assaulted me in our home, I called the police on her. They came and spoke to me, then to her. Even though I was the one who called 911, cop said, "look, we only believe the woman. It doesn't matter what you say. We could have you arrested based on what she said, just on that alone. So we suggest you leave the home and go sleep somewhere else tonight. " And that is how our society handles DV: incompetently. This is one of the many things we need to change, together. Stay strong, my friends.
Thank you for sharing your own personal experience.
My ex owed me $65 for a medical bill before a hearing on some other issues. I later through subpoenas was able to prove that she went to her bank, withdrew that in pennies, nickels and a few dimes, went to her house and broke apart the coin rolls in front of the kids while telling them lies about me, loaded the ten plus pounds of coins into a sock, went to our kid’s baseball game, and as I walked past where she was sitting, jumped up and attacked me. The judge in family court later said it was acceptable for her to attack me because she was unhappy about going to court. Assault in front of the children (remember that is one of the all important child custody factors) is apparently ok as long as the one committing the crime is a mom... that is when the last tiny bit of doubt was removed from my heart that the family court is totally corrupt and biased.
I am so sorry you had to go through that experience. I agree with your assessment of the court: incompetent. They enabled her violence.