Marriage, a significant institution that has historically been revered across cultures, is experiencing a noticeable shift in societal attitudes and expectations.Over the last 50 years, the marriage rate in the U.S. has dropped by nearly 60%.
As gender roles continue to evolve, some men are expressing reservations about entering into matrimony. This hesitance can be attributed, in part, to the way feminism has portrayed men. Feminism has negatively portrayed masculinity and downplayed the importance of a man and father in the home. Why are many men choosing to stay out of relationships and joining movements like MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way).
Traditional gender roles have undergone significant transformations in recent decades, some say they have been eliminated completely. The rise of feminism claims to challenge societal norms, advocating for gender equality in various spheres of life. While the early years of feminism brought some positive changes, in today’s wave the results show men feel uncertain about their roles and responsibilities within a marriage. Furthermore with the rise of the #Metoo movement there has been an increase in allegations towards men all across the globe. Would you want to pursue someone or ask them on a date if you knew the statistics of men going to jail for allegations? Many men feel their only way to protect themselves in these relationships is to not participate at all.
The sad reality of this is, are they wrong?
The media plays a powerful role in shaping public opinion and can perpetuate stereotypes or create an atmosphere of mistrust. Sensationalized stories and negative portrayals of men in popular culture have lead to a distorted perception of masculinity. This has caused swarms of men to view marriage as a potentially risky endeavor, fearing that they may become victims of false accusations or unfair treatment due to a presumed bias against men.
Feminism, claims to at its core, advocate for gender equality, challenging oppressive structures and striving for equal opportunities. How can that be true when an overwhelming amount of statistics show men at a disadvantage? For years we have heard about inequality in the workplace but one conversation that goes unheard is the fact men make up 93% of workplace deaths. The feminist message more often than not is distorted, it reeks of anti-men and seeks to undermine their rights and roles within society. Such misinterpretations have created fear and hesitation among men, impacting their desire to enter into a committed relationship like marriage.
While a partnership built on equality is the ideal, the fear of being emasculated or losing influence can lead some men to view marriage as a lose/lose endeavor. Concerns about the division of household responsibilities, decision-making power, and financial autonomy often contribute to their reluctance to commit. More men are making the decision to live alone and do whatever it is that makes them happy. Let’s imagine the portrayal often used of a single man sitting at home playing video games with his friends, oh how pitiful this must look on his masculinity. What looks worse, him playing Fortnite with his friends happy in a home all alone or an image of Johnny Depp on the stand looking across from Amber Heard?
Why is it that after getting married and having kids men are almost expected to become a completely different version of themselves to be a responsible loving person? If you truly love someone do you want to change them or do you love them for who they are? Many women see men as projects and seek to completely change everything about the person they claim to love. How many of us have that friend that once in a relationship you never heard from him again and he was forbidden to be out with the boys? Yet friendships amongst women who will often be the first to criticize another woman’s husband and repeatedly remind them of “You are better than him girl!”
Men’s emotional needs and social lives have often been overlooked or dismissed. Societal expectations of stoicism and emotional detachment can hinder open communication and emotional intimacy within relationships. But who is to blame for that? How many times have we heard the phrase “Be a real man?” This has caused many men to feel unappreciated, undervalued, and almost as if his health and mental wellbeing comes last. Let’s not forget, “Happy wife, Happy life.” Meanwhile men make up close to 80% of suicide and the problem continues to go unrecognized. Does his happiness not matter?
It’s not that men are not wanting meaningful and trusting relationships. Who doesn’t want the happy family with a loyal partner in whom builds you up and vice versa. But it begs the question, if the marriage doesn’t last who is going to be responsible financially? If domestic violence is committed towards him we’ve seen more often than not he is still more at risk of going to jail than the woman is. If he has kids and goes through a divorce the burden of proof now rests on his shoulders to fight for rights to his children while the mother is automatically in control. In todays world, If she speaks there is action, if he speaks it goes unnoticed. Because of this many men are asking themselves “Is the juice really worth the squeeze?”
Until the stereotypes against men are addressed I believe we will continue to see this downwards spiral of marriages. Contrary to what the status quo would have you believe it is not that men don’t want the responsibility it’s that they do not want the risk. Marriage should be a treasured commitment and partnership between two people who equally work towards each others happiness. While we still have a generation who constantly pushes “Happy Wife Happy Life” there will be men embracing “No wife, less strife.”
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Is the juice worth the squeeze? That is a great question posed in this article. It's not an emotional question. It's a logical and mathematical question. If somebody calculates marriage and family are not worth the extreme downside risks...it's their right to choose.
We know where these misandrist ideologies originate. Women's studies in universities preach this to impressionable young women. They then go on to work in media and professional fields. In a culture that is supposed to condemn 'hate' speech, women's studies would be a good place to shine the spotlight. Not just for men, but for the health of our society.
If you want to make a positive change, tell your pastors and anyone else who will listen to be aware of what they say. 'Happy wife, happy life' is a great example. I hear men do this often in a joking manner, not realizing the subtle impact it has. Words are powerful.
Is the juice worth the squeeze? That is a great question posed in this article. It's not an emotional question. It's a logical and mathematical question. If somebody calculates marriage and family are not worth the extreme downside risks...it's their right to choose.
We know where these misandrist ideologies originate. Women's studies in universities preach this to impressionable young women. They then go on to work in media and professional fields. In a culture that is supposed to condemn 'hate' speech, women's studies would be a good place to shine the spotlight. Not just for men, but for the health of our society.
If you want to make a positive change, tell your pastors and anyone else who will listen to be aware of what they say. 'Happy wife, happy life' is a great example. I hear men do this often in a joking manner, not realizing the subtle impact it has. Words are powerful.
Agreed, subconsciously this says I have to give up on my happiness to ensure someone else is happy